A Primer for Dealing With Difficult Employees
September 2007

Supervisors find themselves faced with "employee surprises" on a frustratingly regular basis. Some examples:

• An employee shows up one morning with a large tattoo that other employees find unnerving. Your employee handbook doesn't specifically address this issue.
• A staff member has been exhibiting increasingly bizarre behavior, causing coworkers to feel concerned about his mental health — and about their own safety.
• Another employee complains about the body odor of a colleague and insists that something be done.
• A "pushy" employee demands certain special considerations related to his religious background.

What should — and shouldn't — supervisors do in these situations? What kind of guidelines should you provide them?

Does it Matter?

The first question to ask is, "Does it matter? Is this behavior affecting the employee’s performance or someone else’s performance?" That's really the bottom line, not whether the supervisor personally approves of the behavior.

The multiple tattoos and piercings of an employee of an alternative rock nightclub is probably not an issue. That same employee working in a conservative banking environment might generate concerns.

Update Policy Manuals

To navigate these variations in expectations and appropriateness, it's critical to have employee handbooks and policy manuals that deal with them. They should outline expectations and provide examples of inappropriate behavior, clearly stating that the examples are not all-inclusive. Because modern society changes its social fads so quickly, review policies and handbooks at least annually, in consultation with your legal advisers.

Managers need to not only know the rules but to understand they must be applied consistently. That means ongoing training to make sure all staff members know the rules and expectations.

Even the most up-to-date policy manual can't cover all situations. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't act if an employee's behavior is creating an unsafe or unwelcome environment. For example, if someone comes in with a racially offensive tattoo, you should immediately address the situation, even if tattoos aren’t specifically addressed in the policy manual.

Take Action Immediately

Kerry Patterson, coauthor of two Crucial Conversations books (McGraw-Hill, 2002, 2004) says supervisors often make the mistake of not addressing the problem when it first comes up. Their rationale: "If I don’t say anything it will go away. If I do say something it could cause a problem."

Then it happens again. And again. By that time, Patterson says, the supervisor is becoming more and more resentful. Then, having given tacit approval by turning a blind eye, when the supervisor does act, it's likely to be in an angry, accusatory way that causes the individual to act defensively, so all goes very badly.

Avoid Special Treatment

Another common issue involves making concessions for certain employees because of their personal circumstances or because of your relationship with them. Any kind of special treatment, however well-intentioned, can create problems, particularly if actions are not consistent with company policy. Problems can arise because of special concessions or additional tolerance for longterm, or previously high-performers — or even for likeable employees. That's a slippery slope.

Key steps to take are:

• Establishing, documenting and communicating clear expectations
• Applying these expectations consistently
• Acting quickly to correct behavior not in line with expectations or policy.

Dealing with Behavior

When addressing any type of inappropriate behavior, Patterson recommends that you:

Describe what was expected vs. what was observed. “I was expecting you to have this done by 3:00 p.m. and you said you would have it done. It wasn’t. I’m wondering what happened.”

Focus on the consequences of the behavior. People are motivated by consequences. Share that information with the other person so they understand.

Brainstorm solutions. Decide what’s going to happen next time to ensure this doesn’t occur again. Who’s going to do what by when?

Such fact-based discussions, says Patterson, treat others with dignity and respect, and communicate consequences.

There is, of course, a final step. When employees aren't working out, the best thing you can do for both employees and company is to help them move on. Using the approach above ensures that this final discussion will not be unexpected.

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